Railing Against Stupidity

I don't know if any of you folks on the other side of the pond have been subjected to this stupidity, but apparently the people at SAB Miller think we're all a bunch of uneducated buffoons who will take anything that's fed to us by way of the telly as gospel. The first thing to really get my goat was their claim to a special process called "Triple Hops Brewing", which according to their web site, does the following: 1) The first hop addition gives a "clean, distinctive Pilsner flavor and aroma". Okay, STOP RIGHT THERE. Flavor AND AROMA? The majority of the flavor comes from the water (ESPECIALLY in the case of a Pils/Pilsner/Pilsener - I don't know which style they claim to be brewing), malt and yeast. I was always under the impression that the last hop addition was the aroma hop. Maybe that's been my problem all along. 

2) The second addition gives "balance: perfect body and hop taste". HOP TASTE? IN MILLER LITE? Come on, has anyone ever really tasted hops in Miller Lite? 

3) The third addition the hops "add to Miller Lite's perfect head and locks in its great taste". Wow. What a steaming pile of crap. Another ad asks "Does the fact that we add hops at three times during the brewing process, instead of all at once, ever cross your mind?" Of course it doesn't because I would be shocked to think they'd use more than a smattering of hops in any given batch. Divide that smattering into three different additions and you've got, well, what's the technical term for a third of a smattering? A skosh? A pinch? A dash?

The latest insult was their claim that they use "the best hops in the world - Idaho hops." HUH? Idaho hops? I always thought that the noble hops were the best for classic european styles, and if one was brewing something that needed to be big and hoppy, you would probably go with cascades.  But Idaho? Hell, I didn't even know they GROW hops in Idaho.

I can't wait until their next attempt to shove misinformation and marketing down our throats comes when I'm having a really bad day, because it may just be enough to make me snap. They've even gone so far as to have trademarked the term "Triple Hops Brewing". Anyone ever think to trademark the term "potable drinking water"?